mi dulce y mi pan

I wished that i never say you cry...now i wish i could see just the slightest emotion in you.
I've decided i wont act anymore...i've accepted who i was, i've embraced who i want to be, and i wont struggle for you to see me anymore.
The thing is...Im nothing right now...im in between what Ill be, and what i was, and im scared...and im alone, but its ok, because for the first time im not "alone and accepting it", Im just plain OK. I cant say im the happiest person on the face of earth, but i can say that im in peace with my sorroundings.
I wouldve really liked, though that youd hug me just because...that u'd kiss, not because it makes you want to fuck me, but because you love. That you wouldve taken ur time just to sit ans talk to me, just turn off the tv and talk to me, just wake up and talk to me. I know, i have the impaired judgment of thinking that everything wrong around me, is my fault...but i know, i wasnt so easy on you, that you probably got scared of my so demanding attitude and u probably got tired...of me acting so bossy around you, and being so self rightous. and u started doing things on purpose to me. But it wouldve been nice u understood that i've never wanted anything bad for you. that all this time, i just wanted for you to do good in school, for you to get along with ur dad, for you respect yourself, for you to learn that i never loved anyone better, or better intentions of making their life perfect, but maybe thats not what you asked for, and maybe its none of my business to fix your life, maybe i shouldve just loved you instead. but i tried to be different, but different was killing us, and i never saw it until we died.
Its something i had to learn from, to change for my own well-being.
I look back and think, i wouldve done so many things differently..i guess its kinda late now.